The Curious Snowflake, Part 4

Part 4


After a time, the Self that was once the Curious Snowflake
chose to come back to being herself as herself again,
for she now felt a strange longing,
not unlike the feeling she had just before she Fell from the Great Cloud.

“What is it, Beloved?” asked the Ocean.
“I thought that you and I are One, O Ocean.”
said the Self.
“Do you not already know my heart’s desire?”
The Ocean then laughed Its great and shimmering laugh.
“Your desire, oh my wonderful Child,
is to tell me what your desire is.”

The Self laughed as well, for it knew this to be true.
“O Ocean, to be truly and perfectly One with you
is the greatest bliss, but I feel there is something else,
something more that I can experience away from you again.
I believe it is time for me to leave
and return to the clouds.”

“Of course, Beloved, of course you feel this way.
You are still the Curious Self, and ever shall be
for I am Myself curious.
It was curiosity that caused Me to send each Self
forth into the clouds to explore,
and that same curiosity is in each of you
for you and I are One.”

“But Ocean,” said the Curious Self,
“I shall greatly miss being here, One with You.”
“Dearest Child,” replied the Ocean
more kindly and lovingly than ever,
“you still do not understand.
Even when you are not here within Me
we are still One, for I am within your heart.
You ARE me, merely sent forth,
and you need to just look inside yourself
to be with Me again.”

“But won’t I forget this truth?”
said the Curious Self.
“I spent my entire time as the Curious Snowflake
searching for that knowledge!
Am I doomed to repeat that search
over and over each time I return to the clouds?”

“Beloved, do not worry.
Did I not show you when you first returned to Me
that the truths of each snowflake you have been
are there, in your heart, alongside Me?
The Great Truth of your time as the Curious Snowflake
was the knowledge that you are Me
and that Falling is actually Returning.
You will not forget this, unless you choose to.”
And the Curious Self understood, and was glad.

“So, Beloved, how do you wish to return?
What form do you wish to wear
and what part of the Ground Below do you wish to explore?”
“I get to choose?” asked the Curious Soul,
“You do not choose for me?
I thought that You would set my path
so that I could do Your will?”

“Your will for you is My will for you, Dearest Child,”
replied the Ocean.
“The experience is always yours to have
and yours to choose.
All I ask is that keep within your heart
the memory of Oneness with Me.
And even if you do not, that is also good,
for sometimes a Self must forget completely
to do what they wish to do with their time apart from Me.”

“So I may choose?” asked the Curious Self.
“You may choose whatever you wish,”
replied the Ocean.
“Choose from your heart, Beloved,
and claim with joy the adventure of your next life.”

The Curious Self thought long and hard
about what her next time among the clouds should be like.
She imagined herself crystalline and beautiful
dancing at the cloud top,
but that did not feel true to her heart.
She imagined herself thin and sharp,
spinning daringly at the cloud edges,
but that too did not feel true to her heart.
She imagined herself small and hard,
cold and silent at the cloud bottoms,
but none of these felt true to her heart.

And then, just as the Curious Self was beginning to despair
and thought she would never find the right form to take on,
a memory came to her..
A memory of a quiet, shimmering laugh,
much like the laugh of the Ocean Itself,
and her heart leapt, for she had found at last
the form she would next take.

“SO SHALL IT BE!” said the Voice of the Ocean
greater and grander than ever the Curious Self had heard it.
And she felt herself rising up
leaving the depths of the Ocean in which she had dwelt.
“Goodbye, oh goodbye Ocean,
dearest friend!”
“There is no goodbye, finest and dearest Child,”
said the Ocean, much quieter now,
“for you have chosen to remember Me fully.
Not one Self in a million is like you,
ready for the responsibility you take on,
but you are ready, and you shall be magnificent.
And even if this really were to be a goodbye between us,
what is goodbye but a chance to say hello again,
eventually?”

As the Ocean spoke, Its voice became quieter and quieter,
until at the end, it was once again the still, tiny voice
that had always lived in the Curious Self’s heart.
But she knew now what this Voice was
and knew that she would never forget Whom it was that spoke within her.

The Curious Self felt herself emerge from the Ocean,
still without form,
and rise up into the sky.
She did not join up with another cloud
as any other Self would have then done.
Instead she rose higher and higher
into the spaces between the other clouds.
And there, with nothing below her but the Ocean Itself
and nothing above her but the Great Light,
and the Sky Above an expanse of perfect blue,
the Curious Self took form again.
She was very small and very beautiful,
tightly packed and intricate,
and when she beheld her new form, she laughed aloud
and the laughter caused her to shimmer like diamonds.
She was at last what she was meant to be;
not the Curious Snowflake,
nor the Curious Self,
nor the Self at one with the Ocean,
but a new First Flake
filled with the wisdom of all the flakes she had been before,
beautiful and unique and perfect.
“Behold, this is my Beloved Child,”
said the still, small voice of the Ocean within the First Flake’s heart
“with whom I am well pleased.”

And the First Flake extended her coldness outward,
and lo, a mantle of gray covered the Great Light,
for a new Great Cloud formed around her.
As it grew, she could hear a multitude of other Selfs
crying out their own goodbyes to the Ocean
and rising up to join her.
As they touched her Great Cloud, they too formed into snowflakes,
each of a type that suited them.
Some were as stars,
some were as needles,
some were as pebbles,
but each was unique, and perfect in their uniqueness.

Soon, the First Flake felt her cloud was complete,
and thus the flow of new snowflakes stopped.
She could hear every word and every deed that happened
within her Great Cloud,
and now understood her great responsibility.
She could not control when a certain snowflake Fell,
(that indeed was that flake’s decision
whether they knew it or not)
but she did control her Great Cloud
and thus the destination of the flakes in her care.

“Worry not, nor should you fret
Dearest Child,”
spoke the voice within the First Flake’s heart
“travel where you will,
for cannot a cloud pass over a mountain
without a single flake falling one time
then create a blizzard the next?
The other snowflakes shall Fall when they Fall.
When you reach the proper place for each,
they will know in their hearts that it is their time.”
And with that advice, the new First Flake set off
with her new Great Cloud
and all the other snowflakes in her care.

For a great and long time
the First Flake and her cloud traveled the world,
skirting the tops of mountains
and shading the plains and valleys.
Few other flakes came do visit her in the heart of the cloud,
but she was not lonely.
She could hear the voices of all the other flakes,
whom she now thought of as her children,
and ever in her heart was the still, small voice of the Ocean.

Those who did visit her saw her wisdom
but could not understand her ways.
First Flakes care little
for the vanity of beauty,
the foolhardiness of knowledge,
or the pride of goodness,
so other flakes knew not what to make of her,
and they let her be.
This did make her a little sad,
for she longed for someone with whom she could share
the wisdom she knew
from all the flakes she once had been.

Then one day, a single snowflake came floating up to her.
“Pardon me,” he said
“but I have heard tell of a flake unlike any other.
One who, if rumors are true, is older than the Great Cloud Itself.”
“I have heard such stories as well,”
said the First Flake.
“How can I help you, young one?”

“Are you that flake?” he asked.
“Yes, young one, I am the First Flake.
When the Great Cloud first formed, I was here
and when the Great Cloud vanishes, as all clouds must
I will be the last to Fall.”
At this, this new Curious Snowflake became very excited.
“First Flake,” he stammered
“if you can’t answer my question, I don’t think anyone can.
What happens when we Fall?”

At this, the First Flake shimmered with glad laughter.
“Ah, young one,
you remind me very much of another snowflake I knew once.
This flake asked this same question,
and I shall give you the same answer
that helped her so very long ago.”

“What do you think?”

What do you think?


End